This is probably my poor me post

Random thoughts:

My son needs to get his shit together because I cannot afford to allow another lazy, dummy grow up in this country.  I've no idea why he has no gumpshun but seriously he needs it like fast and in a hurry. 

Little Princess seriously needs some bonding time with one of her Aunties cause I need a break.  She needs some girly time.

Hubby is working from damn til midnight and that gets old fast.  We need to get some bonding time, but he has no planning skills and I do not see it happening anytime soon. 

I've had a stepmom moment I think it is horrible that my stepdaughters have no want to see their sister.  Not only that but they could care less about spending time with their dad.

Planning turkey dinner at my house and the number keeps growing!!!!

Some times you feel like a nut...some times you vote

My nerves are shot!!   There are truly only so many political ads one human can take!!! Stop the spending...stop the hate... stop the love....WTF!!!
My hubby is at the top of my shit list.  That man is insane, how I've managed to not choke him in his sleep while I've gotten him tied to the bed is way beyond me.  everyone has a breaking point and I've reached my about a month ago.  I've watched to much Snapped.  I know when it is going to happen and enough is enough!! and who is going to be there to visit me in jail. 
Between regular marriage blissfulness **cough gag**, political ads, and missing the Sanity Rally in DC, I can not take it anymore.  CHF doesn't care whether or not I eat whilst at work. Thankyoubabyjesus that Halloween was just here cause I have candy!!
So yeah, after work it off to the polls I go!!!  High ho!!! 

I survived Greenfield Village!!

That needs to be on a tee-shirt. 
Princess had a field trip and I trying to be super mom decided to tag a long.  However because there were so many other parents I really didn't need to go.  Pfffft.  So I missed a days work only to walk for five hours!!!
It was very exhausting but I did survive!!
Just an observation, but I noticed about a hundred years ago people were short.  The beds were short, the door jams were shorter...I am 5'4" and I felt like a giant!! I am sure that hubby would not have fit on any bed in the village as my BFF pointed out they were all small. 

A poem for my curly headed friend!

How I love my curly headed friend....
let me count the ways....
one she knows how to make me laugh!!
though she is far, far away she worries whether I eat or not...

She knows the answer to everything...
no matter how tarded it may sound....
She can tell you ten places to go and what to do
She has brains in her head and feets in her shoes!!!!

Even when she is pmsing and such she gives her advice with the kindest of touch....
"And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done."
Usually I send an email to my curly headed friend and say something to brighten her day!
She responds in kind and I love her for it!!

She searches the internet without fail to find me the funniest of tales!
I get forwarded only the best of the best!!
Cause my curly headed friend would send me the rest...

I love her in pony tails and comfy shoes
I love eating chili fries with her when she pays
I love that she knows all and has the best clues

33 minor sheep in Farmville

This might sound bad....but I am addicted to Farmville on Facebook.
Saturday night my curly headed friend, who we will from this day forward call Granny, and I decided to turn in our miner sheep.  Once I saw them I knew...just knew that I had to have 33 of them.  I mean how could I not at least have 33 minor sheep.!.!  Farmville had the minor sheep before any of this happened, for the record. 
I still want 33 minor sheep

Someone stold my daughters brand new hoodie from her classroom!!!!

I am so pissed are you kidding me!!  Their are thieves in kindergarten.
I had just taken the tags off and sent her to school wearing her new hoodie.  Then someone took it.  Some five year old at Whitmore Bolles Elementary!!  Either another child took it or one of their parents did either way that is so shitty.  No one has even returned it. 
If my child brought home something by accident that wasn't theirs the very next day I would return it to her class.  But not in Dearborn, Michigan.  Instead I've gotten the run around. 
I've just written the principal...let's see if I get a response. 

Dr. Principal,

Someone has taken my daughters jacket from her classroom. I am a little upset because it was brand new, but mostly upset because it was taken from her classroom. 

I wanted you to be aware of this.  I hoped that at this elementary school theft wouldn’t be a problem, however I suppose there are thieves in every school. 

Since the kids do not have lockers, how shall I be able to ensure that what I send my daughter to school with she returns home with?

i.e. mittens, hats, jackets, and/or coat??? 

**pacing the floors cause I am so upset about this. ***

Shopping, vampires and black sweaters Oh My!

So yesterday after work I had to run home to pick up my curly headed friend and my lil vampire(formally known as princess).   We had to get lil vampire a clipboard for kindergarten!! 

Let's start with kindergarten shall we. 
I've had lists and lists and lists of things she needs for school. 
Some of the things weird, a magazine rack(from pier1 preferably j/k), post its (really? for like when she needs to jot something down and remind herself later cause yeah she can barely write her first name), A reusable (we are a green school duh) water bottle (without a screw on cap), 4 rolls of tape(cause lil vampire's tend to tape things a lot in kindergarten, this for sure is a fact cause lil vampire has gone through many rolls of tape).  Freezer bags of all sizes: gallon (for big snacks), quart (for medium snacks), snack (itty bittyfor  snacks), one box of Band Aids standard size (I think lil vampire will for sure get like one hundred needs for a band aid while in kindergarten) , Pens: black, blue, red (Seriously, five years old she can hardly write her name but she needs pens for???  to write letters then correct them with red pens later??) 

So we go shopping to get her a clipboard for class. Would you believe they have them in different colors and with crazy designs??   So we went with a white board with different shades of blue circles for a design.

Yeah you can call me Super Mom!!

After this lil vampire wants more...a glow in the dark crayola foam wall thingy....not happening....I told her no and she told me: "I didn't want to have to do this but I will bite you in the neck."  Pfft baby threat!  She has to do way better cause I was raised in da hood!  

I really needed a black sweater.  So I went looking for one and good larwd they have tons of them and you really have to try them on because they are each cut differently and you really need to know if it is an all day black sweater or a gee it is really cold outside sweater or maybe just a sweater you can only wear with one outfit sweater. Needless to say I found one **jumping up and down***


Then I wake up to Michigan weather...75 and sunny ?!*#&^%%$#*

My daughter is a Vampire

what are you gonna do???
She is growling and said that she can run really really really fast. That is what vampires do right??
She told her classmates that she is a vampire, to which they responded that it could not be true because she was in the sunlight.  Her answer was that she wasn't completely a vampire yet.....she was turning into a vampire, duhhhh. 
I am the proud mother of a growling, fast running almost vampire....carry on!

Monday Morning Madness and Mayhem

Good Larwd babyjesus!!! There is only so much I can take at my age!! Really!! This monster that is only five years of age is too much to bear!! I swear each morning I have to tip toe for fear of angering the beast that is all of four foot tall!!! It grunts at me!!! It stomps moans and when it speaks it speaks of hate and hate and hate.  It growls!!! I try to feed it but it growls more then stomps and slams stuff and speaks in a alien unknown language. (that is really her trying to talk through tears and crys of hate)
It is terror like no other I've known... no seriously it is.
I believe it is a sick, cruel joke of which I am not privy to.
I am thankful that I do not have a good memory any more!! **beingthisclosetofortymeansIdonotremembermuch** So maybe having kids later in life isn't so bad cause you remember so little.
She rolled her eyes at me and began to speak to me to tell me that I could not beat whip her butt, pffft.
So I told her just how it was:
"I made you and I can do whatever I want to you!!!" I brought you into this world mamasita I can take you out!! <

So after 45 minutes of hate hate hate hate...me and my nephew got outta there.  We are surviors! 

I want a romantic anniversary!!!!

that was my attempt at whining. I'm not good at it. It's been so long since I've gotten really anything that I've wanted I've just given up on it. However it is our seventh year anniversary. That deserves something!! I just want a getaway. Anywhere. Just away. I want some one on one time with hubby. We need to bring back that loving feeling. I just don't think it is going to happen. He isn't romantic at all. Plus we never have "extra cash" to do stuff. Pffft. I can remember always going on trips, especially weekend ones and I loved it.
I love Northern Michigan in the fall. The trees are so beautiful!!
Enough with the mushy stuff.
Let's see, loving the new job, hating the drive. Over all I needed to work in a less stressful environment. Thankyoubabyjesus.
It's hard being living with a teen/adult in the house, seems he has his own agenda and that is not the agenda I think he should have, but I am only his mother. Thin ice. Very thin ice.
Princess told me that she is not my slave. Really?? Cause I only had her so that once she is old enough she can clean everything and then make dinner.

Princess-isms

We are now in kindergarten and the world as we knew it has changed.
Princess knows everything. Duh. I just don't remember being so smart as a kid. As a matter of fact the older I get the less I remember about being a child. I know it had to be easy.
Anywho seems she decided to write down our home address on my business card and passed it out to a few of her friends.
Thank you Princess!!!!
She also knows that she is super cute!!!

Reasons if I die Hubby cannot have our child

First of all she may never eat real food again. He only feeds her from convince stores such as 7-11 and the corner store.
He cannot manage his own time so I am sure he would not make it to pick her up from school or for that matter get her to school on time.
She would talk like a sailor and that would be f*&%$g not right. She is young and impressionable.
She would never bathe, because not that she isn't months old he can no longer see her nakey. That would be horrible.
Her hair would always be a mess. He cannot brush her hair and thinks that since she is a girl and 5 she should have all the skills necessary to care for her own hair.
*palm to face* I shiver thinking of how he would dress her.
So if I die she is to go into the care of any of my sisters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finding food on 8 Mile Rd

Is the most exhausting feat in the world!! Are you kidding me?? I can get liquor and not just liquor but the cheapest liquor in town on each corner but no PIZZA!!! Welcome to da hood!!! You cannot eat but you can get drunk!! Whilst my downriver curly headed friends are deciding where they'd like to eat cause there is food on every corner.

The is a deli called The Bread Basket a couple of blocks down. So excited was I that this place existed!! They had an on line menu so I happily order for my co-worker, who does not have curly hair, that I call asap.
Order the sammies.
Me: I'd like the club, but a half order.
guy on phone: We don't do halves.
Me: Okay I'll take the 6 oz
guy on phone: They are called minis
Me: that isn't what your menu says!!
haha
guy on phone: you know you've called the one on Grd River

Palm to forehead
ME: no I wanted the one down the street....
guy on phone: Don't worry I'll call and give them your mini orders!
ME: Really?!? Cool!!

So I go down the street to pick up our minis...
and I get the "She's here!! She's here!!"

**brownpapaerbag*** A bit embarassed but I took a bow and grabbed my food

My club sandwich is six inches tall
The onion rings are divine!!! They are huge and nothing is better than huge food. All Americans know this :)

Trying to be green

So I am now recycling Yeah me!!
I am trying to reuse as much as possible. So since princess is going like a weed, I take her old clothes to a kid resale shop and look for her some sweaters..thinking maybe we can do an even trade. Nope, nada, not happening. They only wanted three pair of her jeans and only offered me $5. I had $50 worth of gently used clothing in my arms. I was shocked but WTF?!?!? She needed clothes and I needed to get rid of some of the crazy stuff we had in the casa.

Sister 1 is still on leave from work, when I grow older I want to be her!
Sister 2 has her little man peddling fudge for funds for school.
Sister 3 has just taken in a foster doggy!!

Dad is still in mid life crisis!

So I have way to many shows I am addicted to!!
Housewives...they do not have any breaks they just move to a different zip code and have even had a spinoff which I could not miss because Bethany is my fav housewive of all time!!!! Then there are the "premium" channels that have it down to a science I am addicted to "Dexter, Weeds, Big Love, The Big C, I can go on and on.
Then there is Jersey Shore and Toddler and Tierras and Teen Mom, my DVR cannot handle the masses of shows and there isn't enough time to catchup!! Now my new coworker has me addicted to Intervention.

**rollingmyeyeslaughingmyarseoff***

MidLife Crisis

So dad has gone and bought a sports car. **eyerolling** He is susper excited and his reasoning is that it will save him on gas! Dad up for adoption.

Princess is in school and it is pure hell waking her up!! She is just like her father, a groch in the morings. This morning she told me I better make her french toast for breakfast "You are my MOTHER and you have to FEED ME!! Make me some french toast!"

At least Teenage son is helping and I appreciate that.
He takes her to school and picks her up when he can.

Had to leave the Crazy Place !@%$#*@

I was seriously losing my mind.
The boss was out of her mind and did not notice that maybe just maybe the place needed some TLC. No one is perfect but I could not handle the everyday stresses any more.
So I left and have made it to a normal office with normal things happening...it is a slower pace than I'm use to so I guess that means I get to blog a bit more **highfive***
Teen son has lost his damn mind. He thinks he is joining the military as if I'd allow that to happen.....He has been very busy doing nothing. It is so hard being an eighteen year old.

The Princess has started kindergarten and she loves it!!!
She plans to be the most popular and beautiful girl in the school period. She is all about how her hair looks and what she is wearing. She believes the teen boy down the street is in love, heart love, with her, and she tells me about it all the time.

Curly headed friend is a granny now so she is really really busy all the time and can't seem to make it anywhere any more. Other curly headed friend is a granny too....I think I'd lose it if that happened to me anytime soon.

I miss my co-worker and hate that she is in hell all alone. Let us pray for her and also that she may one day find her unicorn :)

Back to work

So I am finanlly back to work. ADM!!! It is hectic trying to get back into the swing of things. Hardly as easy as I remember. Althought, no doubt, I romantisized being the wonder woman working mom thing. Going to bed eariler and eariler I cannot help it. I am missing my family. Can't make twenty phone calls a day to my sisters if I have to work. At least the money thing will be a big thing!!

Laugh, Dance and my memory is going going gone!!!

Princess is in two dance classes and it seems that she can not handle it when it is parents night. She ignores her teacher and focuses on the camera. Yes she poses for the camera and of course the mirrors. She can't help herself. After the second class I told her that I was disappointed that she didn't listen to her teacher and she said "Mom hello I am a break dancer!! Not a balleter!! Maybe I am a pompommer but not when you have your camera on!"
Sister2 is not drinking diet coke...she is still in the withdrawl stage and has a hard time. I am so proud of her!! Even when a vicious defense of the coca cola product happened on facebook (that evil evil place) by my cousin no less, happened she was victorious thanks in part to the wonder twin powers!! And the other Martinez womens!
Finally set up a lunch datea with my curly headed friend only to completely forget about it and I can't believe it! I was going to go to Cracker Barrel with her. It would have been my first time there and I would have loved it!!! I am heartbroken that age has taken my memory from me without regards to my curly headed friend!! Plus I needed to eat.
p.s. gave up on diet and and resigned to being fluffy